Albert Brooks wonderful movie Defending Your Life has always been one of my favorites. The movie imagines that after we die we go to a place where a trial takes place (No wonder I like it.). There is a prosecutor and a defense attorney and the person who has died's life is examined as a series of video clips showing incidents in their life are played. The issue at trial is whether the person has overcome fear allowing them to move forward in the universe.
Being an Albert Brooks movie, there is plenty of humor, including scenes where when Brooks-who plays the lead character whose life is being examined- wanders through Judgment City during the hours the trial is in recess. Because everyone is dead, they can eat as much as they want without gaining weight. Talk about heaven. There is one scene where Brooks is shown circa 1975 deciding not to invest in an unknown watch company from Japan called Casio and instead invests in some cattle. When asked what happened, Brooks says he never found out what went wrong with cows other than "all their teeth fell out."
The movie has a strong message: fear in our lives can be debilitating. Every day in my job as a criminal defense attorney I help my clients, some of whom are being prosecuted by the most powerful entity in the history of the world (No, not Apple, The United States Government) face the fear of what could happen to them. Many times over the course of the years that I work with clients I naturally find myself being drawn to the many positive aspects of their personalities, and yes, this includes clients who have been accused of doing awful things. However, to successfully represent my clients in court during hearings and trials I have to put aside my fear of what will happen to them if I fail. The case isn't going away without me making that happen, so I can't walk into court feeling the fear they feel or I will be unable to represent them.
This is easier said than done. I've known this "secret" about criminal defense for the last thirty years or so. But it never gets any easier which is why my profession unfortunately has a high rate of drug abuse and alcoholism (and in my case chocolate chip cookie addiction.)
And now I find myself facing perhaps the biggest fear of my life. It has nothing to do with my work or my personal life.
For as long as I can remember, I've wanted to be four things in my life: Right Fielder for the Pittsburgh Pirates, a commercial fisherman, a trial lawyer, and a writer. Two I've done (the middle two); my time is past for playing for the Bucst, and just maybe my time has arrived at the last: being a writer.
Blog posts should be able to be read in a few minutes at most.
So check back for part two of Fear and Writing in Miami.
PLR
Phil, I feel privileged to be reading your blog, and as someone who has worked "both sides of the fence" with you, I can tell you that I'm proud to be a colleague in writing as well.
ReplyDeleteI hid the chocolate chip cookies when you were over the other night. Cheers my friend, see you soon.
You can write, Phil. I know you can.
ReplyDelete"There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you." — Maya Angelou